THUD... and back to reality...

VEIN. ON HEAD. IS THROBBING.

Truth be told, this wedding and this house has absolutely rinsed me. It's not helping that I'm not earning a Social Worker wage yet and that I'm living off a student loan once again (albeit one I thankfully don't have to pay back.) Before we got the mortgage, we were able to pay for our flat with just £400 a month including all bills, and able therefore to save quite a bit every month in our savings. Now we're struggling... well, we're not. But I'm struggling. And I really, really, really need to write this to remind myself of how shitty I feel right now, having finally admitted that I have lost control and need to regain it somehow.

I have just sat here, fighting back tears, and written out my budget sheet for the next 3 months, as we get our student loan quarterly. I have already paid my bills in advance, so that money is no longer available to me. Not that I ever get behind on bills - I can prioritise, at least.
Once everything comes out that has to be paid, I have the grand sum of £250 a month to pay for food and anything else. Yup, that's it. And I have been refusing to admit this fact for 4 months now, and look at the state I have gotten myself into.

BUT NO MORE MULLING IT OVER.

Action HAS to be taken from now:

1. Next month my phone contract of 2 years finally runs out. The plan is to go for a phone that costs me no more than £20 a month, or less if I can stomach it. I admit I would struggle now without a Smart phone, but I need to do some research as I'm banking on the fact that the phones available to me in the shops will be nothing less than 'Smart' now. So I plan to, a) research phone tariffs, b) research phones and their internet usage, c) not get talked into signing into another 24 month contract for a phone that costs me too much.
2. Start meal planning again and make more of an effort to go that bit further afield when we do our food shop. For god's sake, we have an Aldi in town which has already proven to me on numerous occasions that it's cheaper to get our food there. But when you have a Morrison's 1 mile from your house, we often cave and avoid the town traffic. No excuses anymore.
3. We also have a bloody market in town on a Saturday!! WHY AREN'T WE USING IT?!? I don't know. But we will start.
4. Absolutely no more takeaways or meals out for the next three months. Why? It's expensive, it's not usually that great, and the cost leaves a nasty taste in your mouth anyway. My dinner last night (see previous post) proves that homemade is better for you and costs less.
5. The wedding is 13 days away now. After it's over, I'm banning myself from my eBay account and other online stores, because I have been on them weekly since we started all this. We may have saved money on the wedding by getting stuff from such places, but I bought an awful lot of crap along the way too.
6. Charity Shops are also out of bounds for the next three months. The majority of the ones that have good stuff in are increasingly more and more expensive. It is thankfully Boot Sale season now though, so any clothing I desire will be gotten from there. I also plan to find local Swap Shop Parties, and scrounge donations from friends who happen to be clearing out their wardrobes. On the plus side, this will also encourage me to get better at upcycling clothing to my own personal taste.
7. Look into Car Sharing and hiring out our driveway and garage - we don't use it during the day, and the garage has sod all in it. I have heard of several sites that do this now, so that's my tasks for tomorrow. I will blog about it if it all looks legit.
8. Continue making my own lunches for college, and have 'No-Spend' days as regularly as possible.
9. £2 A Day again over May... why not?? It worked for us 2 years ago. There's no reason why this can't happen again, especially as it'll be post-wedding.

I think that will do for now. PLEASE COMMENT if you have any tips or advice on where to read for more tips!! I feel better for coming out and opening up about this, but I don't feel particularly proud of myself either. I believe that some of my readers will feel betrayed to be reading this, but sometimes you lose track of things and it's better to try and regain some control now instead of continuing to pretend everything is OK.

That's all for now... *EXHALE*. See y'all soon.

Button xx